Jó reggelt, szevasztok…
Guys, I got so fat in Mexico, I can’t even keep calm while talking about it.
What an opening line, now you will definitely stay and read the rest of the article, right? Well, you should. Cuz I’m about to give you a massive foodgasm pretty soon.
Before my Mexican trip, I thought I’m kind of familiar with Mexican cuisine because of all the nachos in the cinemas, the fake ass guacamole, salsa and cheese sauces coming with Doritos – God bless Tangy Cheese tho’ – all the Hard Rock Cafe burritos, the fajitas from Las Iguanas and last but not least the tacos from Taco Bell – but nope. Nothing like the real Mexican street food we had in Tulum.
… Take me back right fucking now please.
Another classic thing which absolutely does not tastes like as it really should in European restaurants is: Fajitas … and also Enchiladas. Had no chance to try the Tamales – and that makes me sad. Another reason why I have to go back to Mexico pretty soon.
What else I had? Hmmm… Oh yea, Huevos Rancheros – for breakfast it’s massive but oh god it’s delicious. This is what I noticed about the Mexicans, that they eat massive meals for breakfast. Same with Chilaquiles – it was amazingly delicious and oh my god, but felt like a sharing platter for two, really. While I normally had eggs or fruits or cereal, my e… sorry… my then-travel companion was eating beans with rice and meat, with tomatoes avocadoes wrapped up in a tortilla topped with guacamole. It’s more like a lunch or dinner meal for me – yet I’m still fat, why? Carne Molida – super basic, ground beef with amazing spices and beans, loved it. Apparently, soups are not that popular in Mexico, but Consome de Pollo is very very delicious. Panuchos – tasty but it’s like a Taco. In a restaurant, a waiter said you can put anything – if you are poor – and everything – if you are rich – in a tortilla and there you go, taco.
Few facts about me:
I love fruits, my favorite is watermelon…
…in Mexico, it’s with chili.
I love mango.
Fruits, candies, chocolate are sprinkled or filled with chili powder
… but, ¿por qué?
I was very excited to taste some exotic fruits as well, I absolutely loved Dragon Fruit, Papaya, Guavas, Cherimoya, and Tuna – from a cactus, not the fish which is called Atún in Spanish.
In England basically, nothing has a taste, everything is super watery, imported and well-toxicated. We have mangos, kiwis, berries, pineapple and all… Sometimes I even dared to say that okay, this apple is not too bad… or at least better than nothing. But the flavors I finally tasted in Mexico, oh gosh. I can’t even explain, you have to go and try it yourself.
Michelada and my coconut
Michelada is a mixed drink, a cocktail if you wish made with beer, lime, tomato, and chilies – that’s the base but there are many variations. So even though I don’t like beer and chilies, if you mix it all together it will become weirdly crazy good. Mexicans are loving it, and if you are a tourist and asking for this in local pubs they will be super happy. Oh, speaking of alcohol… should I mention Tequila and Corona?
It was the first time when I had a chance to taste real coconut water. It was amazing, absolutely nothing like the stuff you can get in long-life cartons here in the UK. After eating shit loads of Bounty in my life I was waiting for a bit more intense taste – obviously. But ahh… It’s simply the Taste of Paradise.
Horchata – loved it. It’s a refreshing cold milky drink with cinnamon and stuff.
Jarritos – sugary fizzy drink but with real fruit taste. We do have this one in the UK as well, but still, Mexico is Mexico. I lovelovelove the Mandarin flavor.
… And of course, don’t forget about those amazing morning coffees… I read many articles about Mexican coffee – I’m a coffee addict, yes – some say it’s great some say Mexico has no idea about coffee. I personally liked it, it’s dry, acidy, just add a dash of milk and an ocean view – yumm
Fritos. There’s no need to say more. Remember… Fritos – Chorizo y Chipotle. I brought back like 10 packs with me to England. I was planning to save it for later but obviously, it was gone in a week. It’s the best chips – crisps if you wish – I’ve ever had.
Duritos – yes, with a U – it’s also very tasty and if you start to eat it you won’t stop till the bag is empty… It’s more like a street junk snack kind of thing, I haven’t seen it in the shops, just out on the street, people were selling it from stalls.
Chicharron – fried, spiced pig fat and skin. Not saying it’s bad, it is actually really tasty, crunchy, salty so it’s hard to stop – as long as you do not really think about what you are actually eating.
Nopales – I think that’s the name of the chips made of cactus. Unfortunately, I don’t remember and Google failed too with this one. I can’t really find it anywhere. I don’t have a picture of it either, cuz it was one of the first things I ate like a pig and I only got one pack.
Let’s jump into the sweet section with one of my favorite person ever in da youtube history…
Hola, es mi…
So I was in Cancun when I walked into the first random little shop that came to my way. And then I saw Pinguinos – and then I just had to go to a quiet place and watch the Shane video above while eating Pinguinos. Probably this masterpiece was my favorite sweet snack in Mexico – well at least from the things I managed to try. I also loooved De La Rosa – which is like a marzipan-ish peanutty thing – … and the chocolate called Carlos V – nothing special just a bar of chocolate though, at least it wasn’t spicy – and thank fuck for that, finally.
Cacahuates Garapiñados is also a delish – sugar coated peanuts. It’s more of a street junk food kind of thing, I didn’t see it in shops, just on the streets of Valladolid people were selling it from stalls. It’s funny though and shows you how small the World really is, cuz back home in Hungary we have something super similar called Duna Kavics.
Ice-creams looked amazing, but I wanted to try something different, fuck the strawberries and the chocolate… Corn, it is! It was weird at first, cuz the sweet vanilla custardy taste hits you first, and then you feel the actual corn bits and suddenly it becomes salty… But still sweet. Confusing, unusual but yummm
Next one… Well, the goat milk candy called Glorias deserves a mediocre ‘meh’ – cuz I was waiting for a caramel thing, but instead of that, I got a massive milk taste – and smell. It was something like Dulce de Leche… but not really. Not bad Babes, but I wouldn’t eat a whole bag. Another runner up in the ‘meh’ category is Paleta Payaso – looks like a lollypop, but it’s not. Looks appetizing on the picture, but in real life, it’s not. It’s just a scary chocolate coated marshmallow Chucky… And also, Shane was right, unfortunately, Sponch is not sponsored either. #notsponch
And I was lucky enough to taste a couple of disasters too – no offense I still love you Mexico, but please…
Lucas Muecas. First of all, it looks like a tiny peepee. Second of all, why? Why you have to cover a caramel-y candy with chili powder, why?
There’s another similar thing, Chamoy – a little box filled with JUST that chili something powder. First I thought ‘yesss bitch it’s like pop rocks’ – well it’s not. And then if it wasn’t enough already there’s another version of Chamoy – it’s a liquid and it’s a straight diarrhea. And if you still don’t have hemorrhoid just yet, you can munch some Dedos, that will do the thing. I have to warn you, it’s still not over cuz last but not least, there’s this thing out in the market…
This is just no.
I always give it try and then another… But it’s just not happening. Yet it keeps looking at you like: “oh yea, come on hooman, lick me, I’m pura fruta natural, bite my gigante!” …
And then you are there, ready and all excited, waiting for some amazing thing to happen… But all you get is a salty-sweet-sour-chili confusion in your mouth – like my ex. – … and then you are just sitting there all confused and start questioning everything. And in the end, you have to face them starry eyes asking the fatal question:
“sooo… how was it?”
… Still better than the edible insects tho.
So, Mexican Candies? Fail. Literally. I just can’t cope with that, it’s worst than the toilet situation there and that’s bad – … don’t ask.
Mexican food in general? Amazing. I really love the flavors, the taste and the richness of their gastronomy…
And I’m telling you, do not let them frozen ass burritos from Tesco fool you ever again.
… Jó éjszakát, szevasztok!
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